Sam Leitch Loyal

A friend at the BBC tells me that Alba have been trying to arrange to show show next Wednesday's game live.

Listen out for the guy at Dumbarton who still bawls such offending material, (He looks like Mr Punch.) When I covered games there my fellow journos and I had "bingo cards" of his phrases to mark every game. His absolute favourite - and it appears EVERY game at some point - is "Wherr wur yoo whin thi brains wurr haunded oot?" Wish I could remember his name. It'll come to me. FRASER - that's it!! (PS: On the subject of naughty words, we could run a competition to find out who has seen Fergie of the Accies ejected most times. [Younger fans, ask yer da.] At Fir Park the polis used to lead him past the home fans just for the fun of it.)

Continuing ill-health means I won't be able to go , therefore I am offering my ticket here for exactly what it cost me. Ticket is a CONCESSION for the East Stand. Price (including "signed for" delivery) is £8.00 Payment by Paypal - PM me for details if interested. As the sign says at the reception desk of my local brothel: "First served, first come."

Not so, mon ami, according to the Dumbarton website: "The manager reports that he has a fully fit squad to choose from, including captain Andy Graham. Striker Jim Lister will serve a one match suspension next Saturday vs Morton but is available for tomorrow's game. Trialist Robbie Winters who featured in last Saturday's 2-2 draw with Cowdenbeath may also be included."

Meant to ask - anyone got a spare ticket for the Nick Cave gig at the Barrowlands?

Great googly moogly - I like the new David Bowie album.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/video/2013/mar/07/waterlogged-pitch-kazakhstan-corner-video

Dumbarton's supporters' bus has been cancelled due to lack of interest. (True.)

Had to resurrect this thread after reading this morning about North Korea's leading female marathon runner: Kim Kum Ok.

Continuing the place-name connection, WWF Scotland has a spokesman called Lang Banks. At skool I had a woodwork teacher called Mr Wood. One for the musically cultured among you: on his first solo tour of Japan posters all over the country advertised concerts by that well-known ex-Yes keyboardist Rock Wankman. Finally, in Paisley I here the wummin give all their weans the same first name. They know to whom she is referring as she just calls each one by his or her surname.

My local hostelry had a married couple working therein whose first names were Ailsa and Craig.

Don't you all know that Partick Thistle is an anagram of "pessimism"?

Every managerial vacancy report contains the words "Phil Brown has thrown his hat into the ring".

I was hoping to wake up to Lucy Liu cavorting on my bed in a leather mini-skirt (and nothing else) but this result is even better.