themadozjag

I've been away from this Forum for quite a while but have to say that Adam Barton is the best accomplished footballer I've seen since the days of Alan Hansen. He's so composed on the ball and has great vision. Could be a Thistle Great for sure.

The key. A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift. The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The KEY," where a small key is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift. Of course, the woman wanted "The Key." Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the key, and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems. "All these years, everything has been working just fine. I've had to turn the key and I've always loved the results. But now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the key won't get rid of them." The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your tits." She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

Ma Baw!

The crowds are poor. The Aussie 'A' League attracts far more than us and some of their games are mediocre to say the least. I suppose it's down to the entry cost v the talent on the field.

It really Pisses me off when I see that the recent Netball game between Australia and New Zealand drew more than 17,000 fans. Wish we could get that much!

You'd have to be Drugged out of your Brain to support The Gold Coast Suns mate

Ideal for wearing here in Australia as it s in the same colours as The Indigenous Aboriginal Colours. Great to wear down the club.

He's probably done his best for the club so wish him all the best for his impending wedding and football future and move on.

Hey Williejag, away an bile yer heid ya numpty! Archie has done a good job considering his limited financial availability. Who is there that could come to the club and do any better? Other Clubs have been switching Managers Willy Nilly all through the season just passed and have they improved any? No I didn't think so! Leave Archie alone and back him for next season and pull your head in.

The daughter asks her dad, "Dad, there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn't quite understand." "He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper." Her dad replied, "You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe."

Sad to hear of the passing of Dave MacKay. I actually had a drink with him way back in August 1987 in a Bar in Edinburgh. It was my last day at work for Matthew Hall and I took the lads in my squad to a pub at lunchtime for a farewell drink. Dave was standing in the corner reading his newspaper when I spotted him. He would've been 52 then. At first he wouldn't take a drink but when I told him that I was going to Australia in 2 weeks time he changed his mind and we had a couple of nips together and he wished me all the best. I actually have a copy of that famous Photo of him and Bremner.

I mentioned a wee while back in another thread that we were still the Unpredictables. My point being that we could hammer the Accies 5-0 the we can go and lose the next 5 games then we can go up to Tannadice and win 2-0. A great result for us but a Fixed Odds Coupon Buster. Just as well we did win as all teams below us also won. I'm just wondering if we'll ever lose that Tag?

The same thing happened to a friend of mine here in Sydney. Turned out that the Asian people upstairs were growing Rice in the room above and there were 11 people living in the 3 bed flat as well. He had a hard time getting Compo! but he did eventually.

A man living in Sydney walked into the produce section of his local supermarket and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy working in that department told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce. The man was so insistent that the boy went to ask the manager about the matter. Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some old ******* outside wants to buy half a head of lettuce." As he finished his sentence, he turned around to find that the man had followed and was standing right behind him, so the boy quickly added, "and this gentleman kindly offered to buy the other half." The manager approved the deal and the man went on his way. Later, the manager said to the boy........... "I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of that situation earlier, we like people who can think on their feet here, where are you from son?" "New Zealand, sir," the boy replied. "Why did you leave New Zealand?" the manager asked. The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but prostitutes and rugby players there." "Is that right?" replied the manager, "My wife is from New Zealand!"

It's the same old story year after year and it has been for many years and I should know as I've been a Jags fan for 55 years now. The great unpredictable TAG will be with us for years to come as we don't ever seem to be able to lose it! Great example is the 5-0 drubbing we gave the Accies then we go out on a live T.V game at home only to lose to St Midden 1-0,then we lose at home again to Caley in the cup followed by the Celtic defeat at home and now a 1-0 defeat to Dundee. The Great Upredictables and Fixed Odds Busters! Sigh! will it ever end?