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Annus Horribilis 2018 Part Two


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July 2018
Midfielder Jack Storer joins the Club tho' he'll be referred to as a striker on the club website. Maybe striker was correct as he strikes the goal of the season before the month is out (and will go on to strike out another three times as he picks up a hat-trick of red cards in the reserves). Oh and Adam Barton leaves. What's not to like?
After scoring his first goal of 2018, July finishes with MILES STOREY: I WANT TO KICK ON AND SCORE MORE REGULARLY. This he does albeit five months later when he doubles his tally for the year to a grand total of two goals.

August 2018
This month sees the start of Gerry B's video updates that let's say fall some way short of being the equivalent to FDR's fireside chats.
Meantime on the pitch we're outclassed again by Ayr and outcupped again by Celtic. Big Christie is honoured to be captain. His success in skippering the team is uncannily parallel to Teresa May's success in running the UK.

September2018
Kris Doolan, much criticised of late for his lack of goals, sees another chance go a-begging as an ever alert Morton defender clears his goal bound shot away for a Jags throw in. Some fans are convinced the ball crossed the goal line. 
East Fife manage to dump us out of the Challenge Cup a matter of three weeks after going out the League Cup.                                                                                                                                                                Jai Quitongo: I’m grateful for the chance to play here at Thistle. Aye well, Jai, you had a funny way of showing it. Meanwhile- Storey hoping to take home form away. Not your home form I hope, Miles.

October 2018
Coulibaly registration confirmed. Well good news at last. This should keep Archie in a job'
Archie sacked! Nine days later Caldwell arrives. 
Ayr beat us for the 3rd time this season. Never mind- Coulibaly excited to help the team. Ah, bless him.

November 2018
Down at Cappielow the Jags prove we're not too good at defending with a strong wind behind us. We also prove we're very poor at defending playing into a strong wind. Cammy Bell just proves he's very poor. Man of many positions, Elliott, proves to no one, apart from Garry C, that  he's never a centreback.
Off the pitch the Great Communicator starts her regular monthly broadcasts that remain a regular part of Jags life for eh, one month.
Max Melbourne leaves the Club having only managed to get sent off for the Reserves a measly once.

December 2018
Hallelujah! Caldwell get's his first win (at home to the Pars) but just to get back into the tradition of this sad sad year, we follow this up by picking a solitary point (a draw with Alloa) out of a possible nine. But onwards and upwards, the New Year is almost upon us and to celebrate this we sign 34 year old Gary Harkins on an 18 month deal.

What a year. 
 


 

Edited by lady-isobel-barnett
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19 minutes ago, lady-isobel-barnett said:

July 2018
Midfielder Jack Storer joins the Club tho' he'll be referred to as a striker on the club website. Maybe striker was correct as he strikes the goal of the season before the month is out (and will go on to strike out another three times as he picks up a hat-trick of red cards in the reserves). Oh and Adam Barton leaves. What's not to like?
After scoring his first goal of 2018, July finishes with MILES STOREY: I WANT TO KICK ON AND SCORE MORE REGULARLY. This he does albeit five months later when he doubles his tally for the year to a grand total of two goals.

August 2018
This month sees the start of Gerry B's video updates that let's say fall some way short of being the equivalent to FDR's fireside chats.
Meantime on the pitch we're outclassed again by Ayr and outcupped again by Celtic. Big Christie is honoured to be captain. His success in skippering the team is uncannily parallel to Teresa May's success in running the UK.

September2018
Kris Doolan, much criticised of late for his lack of goals, sees another chance go a-begging as an ever alert Morton defender clears his goal bound shot away for a Jags throw in. Some fans are convinced the ball crossed the goal line. 
East Fife manage to dump us the Challenge Cup a matter of three weeks after going out the League Cup.                                                                                                                                                                Jai Quitongo: I’m grateful for the chance to play here at Thistle. Aye well, Jai, you had a funny way of showing it. Meanwhile- Storey hoping to take home form away. Not your home form I hope, Miles.

October 2018
Coulibaly registration confirmed. Well good news at last. This should keep Archie in a job'
Archie sacked! Nine days later Caldwell arrives. 
Ayr beat us for the 3rd time this season. Never mind- Coulibaly excited to help the team. Ah, bless him.

November 2018
Down at Cappielow the Jags prove we're not too good at defending with a strong wind behind us. We also prove we're very poor at defending playing into a strong wind. Cammy Bell just proves he's very poor. Man of many positions, Elliott, proves to no one, apart from Garry C, that  he's never a centreback.
Off the pitch the Great Communicator starts her regular monthly broadcasts that remain a regular part of Jags life for eh, one month.
Max Melbourne leaves the Club having only managed to get sent off for the Reserves a measly once.

December 2018
Hallelujah! Caldwell get's his first win (at home to the Pars) but just to get back into the tradition of this sad sad year, we follow this up by picking a solitary point (a draw with Alloa) out of a possible nine. But onwards and upwards, the New Year is almost upon us and to celebrate this we sign 34 year old Gary Harkins on an 18 month deal.

What a year. 
 


 

I don't know whether to laugh or cry after reading this. Well as D:ream sang 'Things can only get better' and thankfully they did. Lets hope that continues this season.

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34 minutes ago, allyo said:

D:ream did sing that. And in 1997 it was the anthem to major political change, which i very much approved of. I now see 1997 as something of a peak for humanity. And hate that song.

Sorry for dragging it down.

I think this is why so many remember the song. The keyboard player is more famous now Professor Brian Cox.

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2 hours ago, lady-isobel-barnett said:

July 2018
Midfielder Jack Storer joins the Club tho' he'll be referred to as a striker on the club website. Maybe striker was correct as he strikes the goal of the season before the month is out (and will go on to strike out another three times as he picks up a hat-trick of red cards in the reserves). Oh and Adam Barton leaves. What's not to like?
After scoring his first goal of 2018, July finishes with MILES STOREY: I WANT TO KICK ON AND SCORE MORE REGULARLY. This he does albeit five months later when he doubles his tally for the year to a grand total of two goals.

August 2018
This month sees the start of Gerry B's video updates that let's say fall some way short of being the equivalent to FDR's fireside chats.
Meantime on the pitch we're outclassed again by Ayr and outcupped again by Celtic. Big Christie is honoured to be captain. His success in skippering the team is uncannily parallel to Teresa May's success in running the UK.

September2018
Kris Doolan, much criticised of late for his lack of goals, sees another chance go a-begging as an ever alert Morton defender clears his goal bound shot away for a Jags throw in. Some fans are convinced the ball crossed the goal line. 
East Fife manage to dump us the Challenge Cup a matter of three weeks after going out the League Cup.                                                                                                                                                                Jai Quitongo: I’m grateful for the chance to play here at Thistle. Aye well, Jai, you had a funny way of showing it. Meanwhile- Storey hoping to take home form away. Not your home form I hope, Miles.

October 2018
Coulibaly registration confirmed. Well good news at last. This should keep Archie in a job'
Archie sacked! Nine days later Caldwell arrives. 
Ayr beat us for the 3rd time this season. Never mind- Coulibaly excited to help the team. Ah, bless him.

November 2018
Down at Cappielow the Jags prove we're not too good at defending with a strong wind behind us. We also prove we're very poor at defending playing into a strong wind. Cammy Bell just proves he's very poor. Man of many positions, Elliott, proves to no one, apart from Garry C, that  he's never a centreback.
Off the pitch the Great Communicator starts her regular monthly broadcasts that remain a regular part of Jags life for eh, one month.
Max Melbourne leaves the Club having only managed to get sent off for the Reserves a measly once.

December 2018
Hallelujah! Caldwell get's his first win (at home to the Pars) but just to get back into the tradition of this sad sad year, we follow this up by picking a solitary point (a draw with Alloa) out of a possible nine. But onwards and upwards, the New Year is almost upon us and to celebrate this we sign 34 year old Gary Harkins on an 18 month deal.

What a year. 
 


 

As it actually happened:

 

‘Through defeats and home draws, and yet more defeats the Onanist of the Cauld Well hadst leddeth the Jaggites into the Slough of Despond; conversing in a tongue that was neither Hebrew nor Hittite, nor Philistine nor Aramaic, nor even north side urban patios, but in a constant drivel of meejah-speak, setteh down upon the tablets of the Sanhderin of the Board, couched as though clever parables:

We doth be in a good place at the moment!

We doth be stronger than ever!!

We doth look back with real confidence!!!

Our league position doth be irrelevant!!!!

 

And then there was a sudden darkness over the whole earth until the ninth hour. Excepting upon the Plains of Ehrdriy, which dwelleth in eternal darkness.’

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11 hours ago, allyo said:

D:ream did sing that. And in 1997 it was the anthem to major political change, which i very much approved of. I now see 1997 as something of a peak for humanity. And hate that song.

Sorry for dragging it down.

It promised a fresh dawn under Labour...then TB spoiled it all by supporting the invasion of Iraq. 

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3 hours ago, sandy said:

It promised a fresh dawn under Labour...then TB spoiled it all by supporting the invasion of Iraq. 

I most certainly did not. I was having tea with the vicar at the time and have a cast iron alibi :getmecoat:

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These two posts make it all sound so painful but if you read them quickly it's all over so fast, and consigned to history. I'm already looking forward to 2019's update 

 

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On 7/31/2019 at 6:40 AM, sandy said:

It promised a fresh dawn under Labour...then TB spoiled it all by supporting the invasion of Iraq. 

That was the nadir but Blair, brown and the rest of them had already broken promises and had run a Tory-light (except for PFIs which were Tory++) government before this final nail in the coffin of Labour virtues.

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