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The Jokes Thread

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Thought we might try a caption contest with this one.

 

http://63xh8x.jpg

"I'm over the moon cos I see the flag's at half mast as our top 6 hopes are deid after todays latest gubbing BGM." "Me tae The Cup. Cant wait to get hame and get on the forum and bash the monkey!"
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Taken right out of an online collection:

Q: If you had one cricket ball in one hand and another cricket ball in your other hand, what would you have?

A: A bloody big cricket.

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^ That reminds me of the old classic (?)..

 

If you have one green ball in your left hand, and one green ball in your right hand, what do you have?

 

 

 

 

Complete control of the Jolly Green Giant!

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Not sure if this has featured already but I liked it:

 

Jimmy Savile, Stuart Hall and Gary Glitter walk into a Dublin pub and the barman says: "Not Yewtree again!"

 

Sorry, poor taste... :getmecoat:

Actually moderately funny. :)

Max Clifford, Stuart Hall and Rolf Harris walk into an Irish bar.

The barman says: ‘Oh no, not Yewtree again.’

Jaggernaut are you getting senile in your old age?

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Jaggernaut are you getting senile in your old age?

 

Haha, maybe you're right!

 

Just yesterday one of my language students asked me what ignorant and apathy meant. I told him I didn't know and I didn't care.

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Haha, maybe you're right!

 

Just yesterday one of my language students asked me what ignorant and apathy meant. I told him I didn't know and I didn't care.

 

I used to be indecisive, but now I just don't know.

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The daughter asks her dad,

"Dad, there is something that my boyfriend said to me that I didn't quite understand."

 

 

"He said that I have a beautiful chassis, lovely airbags and a fantastic bumper."

 

Her dad replied,

"You tell your boyfriend that if he opens your bonnet and tries to check your oil with his dipstick, I will tighten his nuts so

 

hard that his headlights will pop out and he will start leaking out of his exhaust pipe." :D

 

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On 3/26/2015 at 9:25 AM, Jaggernaut said:

Just yesterday one of my language students asked me what ignorant and apathy meant. I told him I didn't know and I didn't care.

 

I don't know about ignorance)) But with apathy, modern youth should not have problems. The law allows college students to carry the best cure for apathy in their pockets - https://provacan.co.uk/cbd-edibles/cbd-lozenges-5-mg-honey-lemon/  In our time we have been deprived of it, I sometimes even regret it. A couple of times I would need it to cure depression.

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